Wake Up

God this sucks... I hate hate hate how I can't just be like, wake up Diane, it's not that bad, there's so many things to smile about. That's what I want so bad, to have that control... So I think that a night of sleep will somehow make things a lot more better and clearer in the morning... I'm wrong. I don't cry like this often. But I can't seem to stop randomly getting choked up throughout the day... I can't seem to stop the tears from building when I text anyone as if i'm good ol' dandy. I mean I know how he is... why does it still affect me like this? It makes me feel like a different person that I never want to be.