It's so easy for me to walk away... to run... when I hear something I don't want to hear. Just give me a few good while to let information sink into this sometimes chaotic head of mine, because my mind jumps from one decision to another and back possibly a hundred million times before I finally feel what's best for me. But this time, it can't just be me I'm putting in the equation. For the first time, I feel completely responsible for someone else's well-being. So there has to be that middle-ground where everyone is happy in the end.

The past is the past. But sometimes, you can't help but be scared that the past will find it's way to repeat itself in the future. It's typical. If something happens once, what's to stop it happening again? One part of me is saying that I should take all measures to prevent setting myself up for hurt and disappointment. But the other part is fighting back saying, it's not fair to punish myself and another person for a mistake that had nothing to do with me, only because i'm scared it might happen again... to me. When everything else says this is worth it, that this is possibly the best thing that will happen to me despite all doubts... then keep it.

I'm not going to be a wuss who runs every chance I get. I need to fight for what I know is worth everything I can give. I'm letting the nonsense go, and learn the value of trust.