It's yours to keep.

Those starbucks days weren't so bad... I mean, sure, my co-workers would laugh and say, "Diane... you're not... YOU'RE NOT ACTUALLY READING THOSE CUPS, are you?" as if, it was the worst thing to do for passing time. I guess they hadn't realized that these cardboard cups would little by little build up the optimist in me. After they'd laugh and point, I would just smile back because as silly as it is, small words in small places CAN feed you a big, happy meal. I was fed, and they chose to not even try it, so it was definitely not my loss.

And of course there's a reason for everything. There's a reason for why I chose to start this off with a certain quote from a starbucks cup. No, I am not going back to my old job... Not even close. The atmosphere engulfing everyone right now is just... I don't have any words for it. Rejection. Acceptance. Confusion. Hope. Otherwise known as the life-alternating letters/or with technology these days - college letters via internet as the cause of this madness. For the past year, my attitude has been "whatever happens, happens. I want to live TODAY. and if i'm happy today, but it affects the future, WHATEVER. as long as i'm living day to day." and of course, in the back of my mind I knew that chances were, I would get fucked over. Even so, I post-poned my SAT's to the very last minute, shitty score. When it came down to a long night of a study, or a fun night of having a good time... the good time it was. I BS-ed my way and did things half-assed where it should've mattered the most.

So when it came down to choosing colleges, I brought it down to what I deserved. No way did I even reach for "dream" status schools. No Yale, no Colombia... I wasn't upset though. I just knew that road wasn't for me... not right now. I had other plans, plans that didn't revolve around going to a prestige college first. I have my reasons for wanting to start a life in Los Angeles. My choices were based around that fact... It HAD to be close to, in, or around LA. Ultimately, UCLA would just be the most convenient and top preference. But as time went by, I cared less and less for UCLA because even though the school is gorgeous and is the kind of campus I dream of, they don't have ANY of my choice of possible majors, I don't like the Uni-esque/competitiveness/book-smart atmosphere...

So UCSB crept its way to the top of my list. I can bear with traveling 2 hrs to and from LA a few times a week, that's the only "big" problem anyway. I could study what I want because they provide it. Far enough from home. Completely different people to interact with. Love the campus. So today, after getting rejected from UCSD, and thinking, well I never gave that school much thought anyway, it was still crushing... I realized my nerves began to get the best of me when I then went to go check for Santa Barbara. My "whatever happens, happens" attitude was diminishing in high speed. And then there it was. "UCSB Status: You're Admitted!" Granted, it's not an NYU or a Yale, but honestly, everyone's different in what roads will lead them to success. And it's safe to say, that as great and amazing it is that friends and peers are getting into TOP NOTCH places, it's even more amazing when it's a place and path where your happiness and true excitement are stored. That's what really matters isn't it? Having a place to put your heart in? And absolutely being in that moment where the future is yours.