Saturday, August 16, 2008

Hello, it's me again
A whole lot's changed since I left and
I don't know I guess I felt like checking in
Surprise, you let it ring
Well it's your turn to leave me hanging
And I don't care, I know you love it when you see me call
You know what they say, you can't have it so you want it back
We're way past that, believe me
I'm sure it's hard to see me
I'm sure you don't believe a word
Cause you've heard it all before
And we're so far from where we were
da da da da dum ...



I've been thinking about moving out to LA as soon as I possibly can.
I've been thinking about people I probably shouldn't.
I've been thinking about how much more I want to do with this career.
I've been thinking about why I want this career so bad.
I've been thinking if i've done much with it at all.
I've been thinking about the past and which parts of it I'd be gladly to go back to.
I've been thinking about change, why things change, why people change, or if they ever really do.
I've been thinking about how hopeless I can be about things I can't control.
I've been thinking about how maybe I can be more in control.
I've been thinking about how renewed I want to feel.
I've been thinking about forgetting past grudges, and living as if they were never a part of me at all.
I've been thinking about second chances.
I've been thinking about what's worth it, and what should be left alone.
God i've been thinking too much.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Why is it that I'm always fully occupied with interesting/not-so-interesting-but-time-consuming things to do at 3 in the morning? I hate staying up too late, and I hate waking up late even more. But somehow, right when it's a good time for me to hit the bed, I sit my ass on my decently comfortable computer chair, log into numerous websites, and spend my wee morning hours doing pointless but fullfilling activities.


Say things like, reading celebrity news garbage, discovering new music, looking for things I can waste money on, making cheesy movie trailers, finding the programs to edit those videos, and watch tv shows on my widescreen computer.... Things I COULD be doing at 9 in the morning, where I'm feeling nice and rejuvenated, but, I don't.... because there is a monster inside me eating away at my self-control. Excuse me while I try to fight that ugly thing right this moment, so I can be a happy camper in nine hours.

Oh. And possibly this whole word vomit was just an excuse to have some place to display both my crushes at the moment. Aren't they purrrty. ;D

Saturday, August 9, 2008


This makes me happy. You have no idea how much I missed hot Britney. WORK IT GIRL.
Even though the VMA's is CRAP for letting her get on that stage last year like that... P.S. Can we please bring back the thrilling VMA's from pre-2002? The SlimShady crowds, controversial loose boob of Lil Kim, the Madonna and Courtney Love weirdness, the Britney tiger/snake dancing, and hilarious host skits... were exciting stuff. And are very badly missed.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

My Magical Night....

as a seatfiller for the Teen Choice Awards 2008. Had this been four years ago, I would've let my guard down and screamed my lungs out for every celebrity that walked through thouse amphitheatre doors. This is why I cannot mock this generation's outrageous shrieks and thrills for the likes of the Jonas Brothers and that Miley Cyrus.

At first, I didn't understand, as I sat in that fifth row (which I must say was dangerously close enough to pat Chad Michael Murray's fuzzy head), the ridiculous jumping and screaming for who... a developing 15-year old teen boy seen periodically on the Disney Channel? Mitch Russo is the name, but that's not important. Not to me at least. I'm 18 and already I felt old.... just because that just wasn't for me anymore. In my time it was the Britneys and the Nsyncs and Reese Witherspoons. My excitment was far away with them.

But I must say, seeing Chad Michael Murray and Sophia Bush a few feet away from me did allow me some time to lose it a little bit. I've been a follower of One Tree Hill since its started so yes, finally. People I actually adored and admittingly felt a little (Okay a-lot) starstruck over! If I used to go nutso over Britney Spears and Nsync... I guess... I mean I GUESS, those ear-deafening, cringe-worthy shrieks are understandable. But hey, I think my Britney and my Nsync were much more pleasing to the eye than this JonasMiley stuff. Just my opinion.

Some highlights from the show.....
First "star" I saw and recognized was Olivia Wilde. The girl is gorgeous. In the beginning (before I moved 23 million times), I, being in the row next to hers, caught myself staring to no end... until finally she saw me looking at her, and feeling awkward, I directed my eyes towards another direction.. Until I landed on Selena Gomez (another young Disney star the teenys went crazy over) grooving to Ridin Dirty on the front couches. Yeah... keep looking. Oh, isn't that... RICO from Hannah Montana. The little dude? And man is he TINY! Someone else who was pretty small was the Elijah guy from Hairspray. I like him! There was an occasional uproar as people like Zac Efron, Ryan Sheckler, Gossip Girl cast, and others made their ways in. One uproar, I thought I saw David Beckham. THAT will bring out the nutso in me. The girl I met and I definitely thought it was him, because the lady he was holding hands with had that Victoria Becham bob cut. As they got closer, I realized it wasn't my David Beckham... Sadly. But then very quickly after that, of course I realized who it was. Chad Michael Murray and his underaged fiance. As much of a douche he is (the whole Sophia Bush ordeal), I just thought "Lucas" and my heart jumped out of my chest. Now THIS is what i'm talking about. Very cool. Then guess who I see a couple of couches next to Chad... Sophia Bush! As I expected. She is ridiculously pretty. You know who else completely caught me off guard with their stunning-ness? Blake Lively. I don't even watch Gossip Girl, and yet in that moment, I adored her. Rachel Bilson, who stood close to her, was also another eye-pleaser. Okay okay, I know. What about the men right? Men... ha, that's funny. Well they weren't all boys. Josh Duhammel, Jerry O-Connell, David Cook, Will Smith, BECKHAM....

Okay Mariah Carey. Even though it's been past times for hits such as Hero, Butterfly, etc... I was completely star-struck. This woman has been around ever since I could collect memories. I remember singing along to her songs in the backseat of my dad's car in my young years in Saudi Arabia. I won't get into what she was wearing. It'll just ruin that whole, oh my eff it's Mariah mood.

I caught Josh Duhammel kissing Fergie's shoulder from time to time. They're cute. Lil Mama walked by my aisle to say hi. I felt like I've seen her before. Odd. In the second half, I was back up front... sitting behind that ICarly girl.. the one who plays Carly. I almost whacked her in the head when I turned around to the girl I was talking to. Sorry. I saved that situtation by asking her to sign my ACDC (adamchudancecrew) shirt. As a seatfiller, autographs are highly forbidden. But I thought I was doing a good deed, by making her feel good, right? She did look lonely. Also, there was the Cheetah Girls. They sat in the row on my left. The tall one (Not Adrienne, and not the blonde one) and I made eye contact so I smiled and turned away. I catch a glimpse of her again... and wth, she's still looking at me. Do I have something on my face? Or maybe she was just trying to figure out if I was someone she's seen before... I was sitting in a better seat than she was. Hehe. Then.... Pretty much every girl (and some boys) in that room were throwing themselves at the Jonas Brothers. This girl beside kept screaming out NICK, NICK, NICK, as I tried to hide myself in my seat for the fear of association. And what do you know. Nick, a few feet in front us.. finally turns around. And looks at me. Damn it. He thinks i'm one of the crazies screaming his name for dear life. But what can I do except smile weakly and wave? Which is what I did. Eventually he did finally notice the actual girl screaming next to me. She was content finally. Until she found another star to pry on. Oh what am I doing, I'm not complaining. This shit was hilariously fun... and exciting.
It was never really easy for me to keep up with a blog... let alone my own. But I will try... for the sake of having one available for my random word binges.

And right now I just want to say that Katy Perry's album (One of the Boys) is the bomb. Get in mind that I have not used that descriptive phrase in a considerably long time. So, go find a way to give it a listen. Do it!